Welcome to Small Steps to Health where we do not take orders from a cookie!
After a spending a few days playing the Wii Fit Plus, I realized that my abs is aching. It must be from using the balance board to play all those mini games. My aching abs reminds me of why I like exercising.
Sometimes it just makes me feel “holier than thou” when I strut around the office with sore muscles the next day like some poof up peacock. I know that exercise is for my own health and for my own benefit. But sometimes it strokes my ego to know that I am actively pursuing the healthier lifestyle that my friends are wishing for (not that I will ever say anything about it). Does this make me a bad person to sometimes secretly feel better about myself for eating healthy and exercising?
Guilt can kill your self esteem
Compare to some people, I am very blessed. Sometimes I get the off-hand remark that I am just lucky. Then I am made to feel guilty for having a good relationship, good job, etc. But the truth is – luck has nothing to do with it.
I had to work really hard to get to where I am at. When I started elementary school, I did not even speak a word of English. I do not go around bragging about myself or talking about the challenges I faced growing up in Oakland. I am not that kind of person. But that does not mean it came easy for me.
Guilt about your health
It is the same with your health. If you haven’t notice, if you are in good shape, some women feel the need to say that you are just genetically lucky. Like you should feel guilty for being thinner, healthier, or more attractive.
I always believe that your health is depended on three things – your genetic makeup, the way you eat, and the amount of physical activity you get. Of the three things, two of them are within your control. Sometimes your weight has nothing to do with luck, but everything to do with the the way you eat and how much you move. It is hard work.
I bowl with women in their 80s who throw a heavier ball than I do. The end game for me is to be able to impress some young woman in their 30s when I am 80+ years old in my bowling league. And if eating healthy and exercise get me to the end game, but result in being called “small” at the moment than I am not going argue with that or be made to feel guilty.
No one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them
My friend, Ally, lost a significant amount of weight last year. She felt good about herself, but she also felt guilty for spending so much time exercising and not eating what the rest of her family eats. Should it be any surprise that she gained most of the weight back already? Ally tells me that it is much easier to just give in because of all the sabotage she was getting and all the complaining.
I always believe that the woman is the core of the family. That no matter how successful I am professionally, I must still make the effort to set the “tone” for my family. If this means eating spinach while the rest of my family eats mac and cheese, so be it. I am the boss of me – not my husband, not my future children, and not my parents.
The guilt these saboteurs make you feel is a reflection of the guilt that you made them feel for wishing to change their situation. So in order to stop feeling guilty about sitting on their butts, the saboteurs are going to take the pre-emptive strike to change your behavior and make you feel guilty for eating healthy and exercising. Don’t fall for their trick. Offer them some spinach instead.
Until next time and thanks for stopping by.
Photo by: respres.
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