Remember my previous about wedding dress sizing and how horrible it makes a bride feel squeezing into a dress two or three sizes smaller than their usual dress size? Well, I have another story for you about my Chinese dress shopping experience in San Francisco.
The banquet is more important than the ceremony in Chinese culture. You can read about Chinese weddings here. My wedding is a mix between the American wedding, white dress down the aisle, and a Chinese wedding, with the red dress at the banquet. So I really want to get a read Chinese dress for my reception (banquet).
Though I am smaller than most American women, I am a big Chinese girl (I cannot believe that I am saying that about my 5’3” frame). The first three shops I visited in Chinatown did not even have my size (size 10 in the rear and a size 6/8 on top). The fourth shop had a few XXL dresses available (I am embarrassed even writing those words. I feel almost as awkward as the time my co-workers caught me eating a Hungryman XXL after telling them that I try not to get microwave food.)
Chinese dresses are typical built for women with an hourglass or ruler figure, with a high slit on the sides. When you are a triangle like me, you end up too lose on top and too tight on the bottom. You know how some people get muffin tops when they wear pants that are too tight? Well, I got muffin tops on my thighs where the slits are on the side!
Chinese shopkeepers are some of the rudest salespeople I ever encountered. The shopkeeper came up to me, slapped my thighs lightly, and announced, “You cannot wear this kind of dress. You are too big.” Granted, there were only my sisters and my mom in the small shop, but I wanted a big black hole to open up and swallow me right then and there. I have on a XXL dress and it is still too small for me! In defense of my thighs, I would like to note that my thighs are more muscular than flab, but they are certainly more formable than my twiggy arms.
Of course, right at that moment another mother and daughter came to pick up their Chinese wedding dress. As there was only one dressing stall, I had to wait with my muffin thighs while the paid customer tried on her finished dress. Though the people walking by the shop have no reason to peek in, they can still see me with my muffin thighs at the back of the tiny shop. Quick – give me another black hole!
The willowy daughter came outside of the dressing room wearing her beautiful lavender and silver silk Chinese dress with a disdainful look on her face while her mom and the shopkeeper exclaimed over how beautiful she looks. I recognize that look. It is the look of someone who never has to struggle for her weight. It is the look of someone who takes her beauty for granted. It is the look of someone who is wondering why she is wearing such an ugly dress.
I can usually comfort myself by repeating that I am a licensed engineer and I have people that love me. But at that moment I rather be dumb as a pole and look like her. If I look half as good as she does in my Chinese wedding dress, I would be grinning from ear to ear like that cat in Alice and Wonderland. <deep sigh>
I did end up buying a custom Chinese wedding dress from the shop. But I am starting to see why otherwise healthy weight women get all crazy about losing weight for their upcoming wedding. Even my friends are dieting because they want to look good when they take pictures next to me on my wedding day. Makes me feel like I should ante up my workouts and start dieting so they do not end up steal the show. Whatever the case, I least there will be no one slapping my thighs during the wedding and loudly announcing that I am too big.
Until next time and thanks for stopping by Small Steps to Health.
Photo by: Mo Riza.
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Loved your post! It’s been really helpful 
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
*hugs* that’s a rotten experience! Although, you know, sometimes we’re so focused on our flaws that we don’t realize just how beautiful we are. That girl probably had no idea what was going through your head. And she might have been thinking about how gorgeous YOU looked. We always kinda want what we don’t think we are!
I’m giggling over the Hungry Man thing; I’ve totally done stuff like that. Oops.
.-= Sagan´s last blog ..9k Race Results =-.
No worries, you WILL be a beautiful bride, no doubt.
.-= RickyRae´s last blog ..Don’t Stop Wine-ing =-.
Sagan and RickyRae – you guys are the best.
I’ve seen that look more times than I can remember, the one from the people who have never struggled with weight.
I hate it that that happened to you, and made you feel like that. You will be absolutely stunning on your wedding day!
Here’s a little story for you: One time when I was morbidly obese, and shopping for a gift in the “regular sized” department, a saleslady came up to me and told me that my size was across the store by the underwear!
.-= Diane fit to the finish´s last blog ..Shopping Experience Gone Wrong =-.
@Diane – Sorry to hear your story. Talk about customer service.