When Family Members Sabotage Your Weight Loss!

by Annie on July 29, 2009 · 5 comments

in Exercise & Injuries,Healthy Living,Weight Loss & Body Image

Suspiciously Like Bananas

Welcome to Small Steps to Health where we do not take orders from a cookie!

A few times a month, my workout buddy and I exchange emails about the progress we made exercising and eating healthy.  My workout buddy is trying to lose his beer belly and I want to lose some vanity weight for my wedding.  Our social circle overlaps so we see each other occasionally, but not on a daily basis.  This is a very important criterion for me when I pick my workout buddy.  I do not want someone to become immune to the incremental progress I make with daily interactions.  But since we see each other occasionally, it keeps me honest.


This morning I got an email from my workout buddy with the subject line that said “My Wife is Packing My Lunch Again!”  With a sinking heart, I read about the extra desserts and supersize meals that Mrs. Workout Buddy stuffs into his brown bag lunches.  How much willpower can a person have when they find their favorite dessert in their lunch bag every day?  You would think that your spouse would be happy that you lost weight, but that is certainly not the case in their relationship.  Nor do I think this is a unique situation.  Sometimes not only do we have to deal with self sabotage, but also sabotage from love ones when we are trying to lose weight.

In any given relationship, we subconsciously (or consciously) assign roles to the people in our lives, whether it is the fat husband or the thin friend.  Sure it is not always about weight, but unlike an internet “friend” where we might never know what the “friend” looks like, we know what our spouse and our friends look like.  We come to expect our spouse and friends to look a certain way with only minor tweaks to their bodies.  And when they start to change their bodies, well, some people do not react well to change.  Is it fair to expect no reaction when we decide to make a lifestyle change?  But is it fair to expect us to play the same role among our family and friends all the time?

I have no answer to this dilemma other than to tell my workout buddy to involve Mrs. Workout Buddy in his lifestyle change.  They are a team and should be rooting for each other.  Truthfully I think this sabotage is less about him than about her.  Maybe there is some underlying self-esteem issue that is hidden behind her outgoing smile.

Until next time and thanks for stopping by.

Photo by:  Crystal.

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

RickyRae July 31, 2009 at 3:31 am

I love the banana faces!!!! I’m going to draw those on my bananas from now on to brighten up my kitchen…lol!!!

Interesting how we are creatures of habit even when it comes body image. Whether a person gains or loses weight we are bound to notice. On top of that, you never really expect sabotage from someone so close to you.
.-= RickyRae´s last blog ..Fatigue Fighter: Gargle Some Sugar Water! =-.


asithi July 31, 2009 at 6:35 am

@RickyRae – I really doubt it if our love ones sabotage us intentionally. I think it is more of a subconscious, “hmm… I wonder why he is taking an interest in his weight all of a sudden” kind of awareness. I know for a fact that my workout buddy’s wife asked if there is a new woman in the office. It is sad for me to hear his jokingly wife refers this phatom new woman as “Sallie” when I know for a fact that his motivation for working out and eating healthier is to keep up with his two young children. It makes me realize that when you have no support at home, it makes weight loss all that much harder. Thanks for the comment RickyRae.


Sagan July 31, 2009 at 8:13 pm

Sabotage from loved ones is the worst because it’s so difficult to deal with!

I often feel as though my close friends like me better when I’m less healthy. It really hurts. I’ve yet to figure out a way to balance out being healthy with having people not nag me that I should “just eat a plate of French fries” etc.
.-= Sagan´s last blog ..Substitution for Protein Powders =-.


Mike January 29, 2010 at 4:59 pm

lol,, last year i went to Thailand and wanted to loose weight for when I met my wife’s family and I had to let my wife know what I could and couldn’t eat because if not she would bake me brownies and cookies everyday!! She says she loves the way I look (pudgy) but of course I don’t like how i look. It is a hard thing but I think if you just tell your spouse they will understand


asithi January 29, 2010 at 7:08 pm

Sagan – I feel the same way too. It is almost like I make them feel guilty for eating a plate of fries in front of me. So if I eat with them, they “brought me over to the dark side.” :D

Mike – see that is what a healthy marriage is. You shouldn’t feel any threat when your spouse wants to improve themselves. Who knows what goes on behind locked doors with my Workout Buddy. But apparently he recently (the whole New Year Resolution thing) started exercising again after taking a few months off. Let’s hope he has more support this time around. Thanks for the comment.


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