Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry – Book Review and Giveaway

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Normally I do not read relationship books.  I have been “off the market” for the past 14 years.  You must be wondering why I am doing a book review on a dating book if I have no expectation of entering the dating scene any time soon.  I find the title of the book intriguing since I married for food, sex, and laundry (it is not just a male thing to want to find someone who is willing to cook and do your laundry).

This post is a book review of Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry – How to Get Him and How to Keep Him by Simon Oaks.  At the end of the review I will give some instructions on how you can win a copy of this book for the price of a comment. This book is a marriage manual that is not quite PC (politically correct) for our generation, but I find it highly amusing.  A marriage manual is as antiquated as my love for Jane Austen books.

Raised in a traditional Chinese family, I spent my entire childhood listening to my mom complained about how my “American behaviors” (which I picked up from school) are going to scare away any potential husband.  She laments my lack of interest in cooking and my outspokenness.  I am not docile and domestic.  In my early 20s, I often wondered if I have what it takes to be a good wife which caused a lot of insecurity within me.  But I have a husband that adores me and I am happy.  Like Baskin Robbins’ 31 flavors, everyone has a different idea of their Mr/Mrs. Right and there a flavor for everyone.

Targeted Audience of Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry

The targeted audience for Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry are women trying to find marriageable men.  Like I said, I find this book amusing because this is all about him.  Finding Mr. Right and making him stay.  If I do not look at it from this light-hearted amused angle, I will probably get disgusted with this idea of trying so hard to please a man.

I think when you find Mr. Right, a lot of the worries and questions get settled without much ceremony.  I am not saying that a relationship does not require hard work, but just that the concessions that you make do not compromise who you are at the core .

Table of Contents for Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry

Part 1:  How to Find Him

Chapter 1:  What’s Wrong with Him?

Chapter 2:  Location, Location, Location

I never thought of the separation between her territory, neutral territory, and his territory.  But I guess it makes a huge difference when it comes to our comfort zone and how relax we are when we meet people for the first time.

Chapter 3:  Know Who You Are and What You Want

This is an important chapter.  If you do not know who you are, how do you recognize Mr. Right when he shows up?

Part 2:  How to Attract Him

Chapter 4:  Food

Most of this chapter discusses the male eating habits, offers advice on how to cook for him, and how we will be viewed as kitchen superheros for this duty.  The last two pages mentioned that if we do not like to cook, it is a good idea to learn together or ask him to teach us how.

My husband does most of the cooking.  I do not enjoy it.  And it has to do with the my childhood pressure of being a good cook to attract a husband.  I only cook when my husband absolutely do not have time.  It bugs me to no end when I mention it to other men at work and they give me this incredulous look.

Like my co-worker, Erin, I make more money; I deal with the investing, finances, and other the other paperwork of modern living.  Erin does not cook or do his own laundry (his poor wife, who also works full time, does all of that for him), so why is it expected for me to cook or do my husband’s laundry?  Well, Erin probably does the yardwork, right?  Wrong!  He has a gardener just like we do.  My husband is lucky that the toilet bowl and floors are magically cleaned all these years.

Chapter 5:  Sex

Chapter 6:  Laundry

My husband brought his dirty laundry home up until he was 24 years old, even though he moved out at 18 like I did.  I remember one time asking him why he did that?  His answer was that if he did not bring his dirty laundry home his mom would miss doing his laundry.  Really?!

“You think your mom really wants his grown son to bring home his dirty laundry so that she has more housework to do on the weekends?  You really think that your mom wants to take care of his grown son like he is still a child when there is another child living at home?  If my son did that, I will tell him not to come home.  I don’t need more work.”

And that was the last time his mom did his laundry.

Part 3:  How to Keep Him

Chapter 7:  Make Him Feel Special

Chapter 8:  You Want the Ring?  Go Get the Ring

This is my favorite chapter in the book.  There is a discussion about how you might want to make him realize that he is gaining something whether than losing something (ie. his personal space, etc) by marrying you.  The author advocates honest discussions of your needs and desires for marriage.

It took a long time (years) for my husband to “pop the question.”  I dropped hints.  I told him to “stop wasting my time if you do not want to marry me.”  So why was he so reluctant?  His biggest qualm was my much higher income.  That is right – he does not make enough money to “support me” hence he did not feel like he can be a good husband.  And here I am thinking it was because of my lack of domestic skills.  So sometimes it might not be you, but him that have commitment problems.

Chapter 9:  Keep the Spark Alive

Chapter 10:  Remain Indispensable

Part 4:  How to Stay with Him

Chapter 11:  Stop Annoying Him, He’ll Stop Annoying You

So true!

Chapter 12:  Don’t Be the Jealous Type

Chapter 13:  Become Him Dominant Female

There is a lot of discussion about Mr. Right’s relationship with his mom and you.  I am not sure about some of the advice to emulate his mom’s cooking (this again?!) and bringing the comfort of his childhood home into your relationship.  The author is right about making yourself the dominant female in his life.  There is nothing wrong with emulating his mom if that does not compromise your governing values and personality, but I would have to say “no thanks.”

I am all for creating your own “inner circle” comforts that are better than his childhood’s.  I often tell my husband that I do not mind your mom staying with us or even living with us in the future, just as long as everyone understands that I am queen of the castle.  Though the dowager queen might have my respect and consideration, ultimately I make the decisions.

Chapter 14:  Either Work It Out, or Break It Off

Is Food, Sex, and Laundry Worth Reading?

Do you read Cosmo or Glamour?  If you read those magazines, you are going to enjoy this book.

Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry Giveaway.

I am giving away:

1 copy of Will Marry for Food, Sex, and Laundry.

In order to win, you get one entry for the following:

1. Leave me a relationship tip in the comments.
2.  Link back to this post on your blog.
3.  Add smallstepstohealth.com to your blog roll.
4.  Tell someone about this giveaway and have them leave your name in the comment.

You have four chances to win this prize.  This giveaway is only available for US residents.  Also remember to post a followup comment if you do #2 and #3 (I would love to be a mind reader, but unfortunately I am not born with or has yet acquire that skill).

I do not get too many comments, so your chances of winning is pretty good.

Giveaway ends Friday, April 10! Winners will be notified in the comments and via email.  Good luck!

Until next time and thanks for stopping by Small Steps to Health.

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Tagged as: Book Review, laundry, marriage, relationships