I found a picture of myself at a company picnic four years ago at my desk when I was cleaning it out last year. I was in shorts and a baggy company t-shirt. I was next to my co-worker, Ian. Ian was in his 30s and I was in my mid-20s at the time. Who do you think actually looks healthy and vibrant in that photo? It sure was not me. But I got the bright idea at the time to cut myself out of that photo and tape it to my vanity mirror for motivation to work out and loose weight. I hate looking at that photo because it keeps reminding me of what I have let myself become. It did not motivate me. It was actually kind of depressing, which made me want to eat to feel better.

Then, I got another idea of photographing my body on a weekly basis to document the sleeker me. I finally got into a regular workout habit at that time, approximately 30 minutes for 3 days a week. I was not able to see any noticeable changes in my body. Besides it was hard to explain to my husband (then boyfriend), when he found 8 photos of my body in sportsbra and underwear without my head (hey, I was afraid it might fall into the wrong hands!), taken in front of my mirror. It might have worked if I have seen some results, but I was not working out enough to negate my poor eating habits.

I find that surrounding myself with pictures of my college years, smiling and vibrant, is enough of a motivator for me. Since October, my husband has been building custom frames for some of our favorite photos from our yearly vacation during our college years. We would work all summer, sometimes two or three jobs, to save enough money to travel. When I look at those photos, I see the fruit of my discipline, hard work, and pride reflected on my joyous smile. It took years to develop my unhealthy habits. I know it will take months (if not years) to replace them with healthier ones. I can do it. I can remember to smile like that again.